so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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