Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
