Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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