Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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