ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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