I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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