Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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