Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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