Welp...herpes.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
