I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
