I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Drunk is not a location!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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