I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ttyl tear gas
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
