She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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