I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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