so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
