i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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