In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
