We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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