We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
her vagine was all disorganized.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
