I think I am morally bankrupt
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
