i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
