coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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