i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
