I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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