All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girls should come with a carfax report
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
