I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
