yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
