Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
