it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize