Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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