Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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