He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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