I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
