I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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