Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
