Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
