She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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