ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
