She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
