6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
