the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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