I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
