home. puking in laundry basket.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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