If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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