I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
