Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
