Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
