you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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