I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
