she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
