For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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