So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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