He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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