She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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