I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.