He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...