JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm always down for nudity.
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