at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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