Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
