Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
