have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
