Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize