she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
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that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
be right there i have to get my cape
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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