Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
