i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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