i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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