Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
